loosing my baby, pandy

sometimes a day comes which is so dark that you start fearing, "have i gone blind?" blindness may have been a blessing for me today. it would have saved me from witnessing one of the most traumatic moments of my life.

every morning after i send my hubby to office, i go to our small aquarium to give our babies the breakfast. its a bliss, watching them get exited on seeing me. as if they know me by my face. may be they do. there are, no were 6 of them. two Goldfishes, two Redhat Goldfishes and two Angel fishes, named Romeo, Medusa, Ceaser, Tabasco, Andy and Pandy

this time when i went to them, i knew what it meant to feel heartbroken. Pandy was floating on her back on the water. i felt like screaming... my heart was saying "its just a dream". but i knew, i had lost her. taking her lifeless body out of the aquarium and giving her a water burial was the toughest thing i have ever done in my life. other than my husband, they are the only friend i have got. they love me without any condition. they never turn their back on me. and now, one is gone.

i remember , whenever i used to go out of the home for few days, they used to become restless. digging the pebbles and sand we have placed there. my hubby loves them more than even i do. i don't know what his reaction is gonna be when he comes back home in the evening. we have each other to hold on to. and now i m so scared for 5 of them left. every half an hour i go and check on them if they are well....

a child is never supposed to die before the mother... its just not done...
this one question more to god... why are u hurting me like this??? what did i do? and if i did something, then why make my babies pay for that??